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(Most) men never have to make the difficult decision of whether or not to change their name, but for brides it’s a remarkably real and occasionally unfortunate decision to make. What if your first name is Amanda and his last is Huggenkiss? Okay, Simpsons jokes aside, this is a real issue. Many women feel de-valued by having to give up their own surnames, or just worry about the professional implications of doing so — while some are just worried about becoming Mrs. Richard Butts. These are real issues, people.
Here’s your get-out-of-jail-free pass: if your man is sporting any of these last names, you’re home free. It’s socially acceptable (and recommended) to keep your own:
Weiner
Hitler
Dickman
Cox
Butts
Ball
Spunkmeyer
Hooker
Focker
Greathead
Highcock
Buttram
Titsman
Donner
Grossman
Stroker
Buttafuoco
Morehead
Manson
Wang
Bush
Dinkle
Ho
Dangle
Pugh
These are all names taken from the actual U.S. census (or some sketchy junk site of it). Ladies, you have two choices – brace yourself for a lifetime of raised eyebrows and dirty joke set-ups, or just keep your last name already! It is 2012 and ladies can do stuff now. Like keep “Smith” and “Jones” as their last names.
*Editors’ note: we are sincerely sorry if you’re offended by this list, or if YOUR last name is mentioned above. No, we’re really sorry.