Eva Mendes famously revealed that she decided to quit acting in order to parent the two daughters she shares with Oscar-nominated Barbie actor, Ryan Gosling. But as all parents know, raising two children comes with its fair share of challenges…
The 50-year-old Hitch actress recently opened up to Dr. Shefali, a clinical psychologist, on the Parenting & You podcast, and spoke about some of the challenges she faces when it comes to parenting Esmeralda, 10, and Amada, eight. And as always, we love how open she is!
Eva Mendes Says She Notices Herself Repeating Her Own Mom’s Parenting Habits
The children’s book author revealed that she was the one who actually made the first move and reached out to Shefali, after she realized that she was repeating some of her own mom’s parenting habits. Habits, she adds, she previously swore to herself she would never repeat!
“It’s so interesting because when I was in my 20s, I was like, ‘I’m not gonna be anything like my parents,'” the Place Beyond the Pines star said, in reference to her mom Eva Pérez Suárez, who emigrated to the U.S. from Cuba.
The Vogue Mexico cover star went on to explain what some of these habits were, telling Shefali: “I’m shocked [by] how much I’m like my mother. And I adore her.”
"My household when I was little was very chaotic, a lot of screaming, a lot of anxiety, a lot of turmoil, even though I had a loving family, and I still have a loving family," the Ghost Rider actress continued, before going on to talk about the "shame" and "guilt" she feels for making negative comments about her childhood.
"My mom had a very difficult childhood full of trauma," Mendes explained. "A lot of shame came up for me because I was like, 'I have it so good. My mom, she fought to get here. I was the only one born in the States. How dare I even complain?'"
Eva Mendes Talks About The Parenting Habit That Is The 'Hardest' To Break
Mendes confessed that the "hardest" habit to break – and one which she picked up from her own mother – is "yelling," saying: "I don't yell when they need me. I'm never like, 'Shut up.' It's not a mean yell, but it doesn't matter. I yell. And it's this yelling that I find so cultural."
"I'm having a hard time getting through and not yelling," she continued. "The rushing and the yelling, that's the hardest thing to me. I don't like myself. I act like a baby."
Eva also confessed that she doesn't want to pick up her mom's habit of using "threats and fears" to discipline her daughters, adding: "I hope I don't look back in 20 years and go, 'Oh shoot,' because I really don't want to raise by fear." She then started to break down in tears, adding: "That's the one – sorry, I get emotional over it – because it's so not fair to the kids. I hope that I'm not unknowingly putting some pressure on them through fear like I was raised."
Eva Mendes Also Reveals Her Rule About Smartphones
Perhaps one parenting habit which Eva didn't pick up from her own mother involves smartphones, as they weren't around when she was growing up.
Speaking to The Times about how she doesn't allow her daughters to have smartphones or use social media, the Girl in Progress actress said: "Putting my kid on the internet and being like, 'Oh, search something,' that to me is equivalent to telling her, 'Oh, just go down the street in the middle of the night. You'll be fine.' I know that sounds extreme, but that's what I feel."
