Winning an Academy Award will undoubtedly be one of the biggest highlights of an actor’s career. However, Nicole Kidman sensationally revealed that her Oscar win back in 2003 was somewhat bittersweet, as she was really struggling following her divorce from Tom Cruise, who she had been married to for 11 years. We had no idea!
Just one year after receiving her first Oscars nomination for her performance in Moulin Rouge, the now 56-year-old Balenciaga ambassador took home the ‘Best Actress’ Academy Award for her role as Virginia Woolf in The Hours, which she starred in alongside Meryl Streep and Julianne Moore. However, despite such a career high, Kidman couldn’t have felt lower!
Nicole Kidman Reflects On Bittersweet Oscars Win
Anyone who remembers the 2003 Oscars will remember how Kidman couldn't hold back the tears during her acceptance speech – but now we know that it wasn't just because she was overcome with emotion over the Oscar win.
"I was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well," the Big Little Lies star told Dave Karger in his new book, 50 Oscar Nights. "That's what happens, right?"
"Russell Crowe said don't cry when you get up there and now I'm crying," she recalled, noting how she was unable to hold back the tears throughout her speech.
The Real Reason Why Nicole Kidman Didn't Want To Go To The After Party
The Being the Ricardos star then explained that she didn't want to go to the star-studded after party, and thought the notion of her walking the red carpet with her golden statue was extremely "inappropriate."
Kidman confessed: "I'm not a big party girl, so I was going to skip the Vanity Fair party, and everyone was like, 'You've got to go. You've got to walk through the party carrying your Academy Award.' I said, 'That just feels like gloating, and it doesn't feel humble.' Like, what? You can't walk through carrying the award! That feels really inappropriate. They're like, 'That's what you do.'"
"So I literally walked in, carried it around, was completely overwhelmed, emotional, shaking, and I didn't enjoy it," she added. "I was almost apologetic, which is so stupid. I wish I could have enjoyed it more."
Desperate To Find Love Again
The Nine Perfect Strangers star left nothing off the table when speaking to Karger, and confessed that celebrating her Oscar win on her own made her more determined than ever to find love again. If only she knew that she would meet Keith Urban, who she has been married to since 2006, just two years later!
"I went home and ended up ordering takeout and eating it on the floor of the Beverly Hills Hotel. I sat on the floor of the hotel eating French fries and a burger with my family and went to bed. That's when it hit me," she recalled.
"I went, 'I need to find my love; I need a love in my life.' Because this is supposed to be when you go, 'This is ours.' I went to bed alone; I was in bed before midnight." She added: "If I ever won again, I'm telling you, I'd be out for 24 hours."
